Not ded yet

 I've been wanting to come back to this blog and actually start posting for a while, but unfortunately life happens sometimes and you deal with it the best you can at that moment in time. I feel like now would be a good time to return to this place though as I believe that I'm definitely doing better but the journey is going to be a never ending one. I've been journaling for a good year or so anyway and while it won't be as personal I feel this will just be another addition to that, so expect some random posts like this every now and again, It's largely just going to be me rambling on about shite to no one 😅.

 I wanted to make the first post back about mental health seen as though it seems to dominate my existence like for so many other people. Over the past year or so I've learnt so much, mostly deep issues within my own self but also about other people, friendships, relationships, family dynamics and just the whole human populace. While this is only scratching the surface the naivety that I once had has gone as a result, not everyone thinks or acts like you do or would. You can't expect that of other people or force them to act like you think they should. One thing that I have discovered is that, co-dependency is in fact, a bitch. 

Jumping slightly but sort of sticking with the same theme I promise, I want to share the sort of things that have been helping me kind of figure myself out. There was a great post on Reddit recently (that I can't find now, typical) that asked something along the lines of 'What kind of advice do you wish people would stop giving you regarding MH' and one of the top replies explained that although the whole nicey nice empathic approach is needed some of the time, its not always helpful and that on occasion you need someone to say it how it is, to point out your flaws and ultimately use that as a tool to fix your issues. This just resonated with me so much because I don't think I've ever had that from anyone and I'd never really thought about things in that manner. When people hide things from you and never tell you your wrong doings how are you supposed to grow as a person? It's not easy to critique yourself in any sort of meaningful way, at least not for me. Sure I can say I'm a bad person and that I suck, but then what? cool I guess, thanks I already know.

So I've got a couple of videos from youtubers that helped with the whole constructive criticism stuff for me personally.

Crappy Childhood Fairy

This is a good example of what I mean in this nonsensical post, it's a long video definitely but it just gets you out of that victim mentality, helps guide it back towards yourself and tells you how it is but without being too harsh. Really need to get bingey on this channel because I feel like I could relate to a lot of it.

Another but from Cluster B Milkshake, this directly quotes the above video but with her own twist on things. I think her channels great and its actually super interesting to hear her unique point of view on certain things from being a self aware narcissist. Again super critical on a lot of subjects but its refreshing to listen to it.

I've lost the direction that I was going with this but we don't need one, its fineee 😊. Hopefully more posts from now on, I've got a couple of ideas and things I want to show. Maybe more of this stuff, I've got so many books, podcasts and youtube channels I could talk about its untrue so most likely will at some point. I'll put a little song at the bottom of each post as well because music's nice innit x

First Post!

 For my first post I though I would share a few pictures of the models I have previously completed in the past 2 years or so and a little bit about them.

Tiger 2 Porsche turret 1/76:

This was the model that got me back into modelling. It's one of those airfix 1/76 starter kits which includes glue, a brush and some old dried up paints. I recieved it as a Christmas present and I really enjoyed it. So much so I purchased a vallejo oiled earth wash especially for it and a few more bits and peices to really kickstart the hobby.

Churchill 7 1/76:

Another Airfix kit, although a total opposite to the King Tiger. I didn't particularly enjoy this one if i'm honest. I believe its quite an old mold? It was quite frustrating getting things to line up properly, namely the main hull and the tracks on either side if I remember correctly. So mine is a little wonky and I don't think I ever completely finished the paint as a reult of being a bit fed up with the thing.

SU-100 1/72:

Really didn't know what to expect when I bought this Zvezda kit but the quality and the ease of building it was really impressive, although coming after the nightmarish Churchill I might've been easily pleased. Bought a set of MLG ww2 Russian paints as well for this model which finished it off nicely.

IS-3 1/72:

I love the style of these early cold war era soviet beasts and I just had to get my hands on an IS-3. This Trumpeter model has a great amount of detail even if parts were a little fiddly at times, finished again with the MLG paints it looks pretty smart.

T29E1 1/35:

My first attempt at one of the massive 1/35 scale monsters and I chose a T29 after loving the T29/T30/T34 set of tanks on WoT. This was a Hobbyboss kit which was fine, nothing bad to say apart from the tracks being a bit of a slog to put together (tempted to try some ebay diecast tracks next time). I used a Humbrol light olive spray can for the base and experimented a bit with Vallejo thick mud and splash mud around the tracks and some dry Revell weathering pigments roughly brushed on.

Jaguar XJ6 1/43:

First of my car model experiments is this Jaguar banger racer. Ignore the paint for the most part it was a really quick job. I mainly just wanted to try out simulating damage and it turned out alright for a first try. It was done by starting with a 1/43 die cast model and cutting the rear and front end out with a dremel and replacing it with a roughly molded shell made out of thin sheet aluminium, then crushing it up as much as was appropriate.

The end! Thanks for reading if you got this far and stay tuned for future projects.